In February of 2010, we confirmed what A and I had been suspecting for months- we I had fertility issues. A & I knew right away that we wanted a family, and began our journey almost immediately after we got married in June of 2009. I had been on BCP since I entered the world of puberty, so had no idea what to expect when I stopped taking it. I figured my body wouldn’t bounce back immediately, but I was not expecting what I actually got. I call it the trifecta:
– Facial Hair
– Weight Gain
For those of you living in the IF world, I’m sure PCOS is flashing in your minds right about now. Sure enough, this was our diagnosis. “A” was pretty confident this was the battle we were facing in September of 2009, when I was in the midst of what ended up being a 66 day cycle and displaying a pepperoni pizza on my face. I, however, was living in denial. I didn’t want to imagine that I could have PCOS. Aside from having trouble creating a baby, I got to live with Acne (which I had never battled in my life), facial hair (which looks great with my super pink and light skin), and weight gain- a battle I’d been fighting MY ENTIRE LIFE.
In January of 2010, I had knee surgery that took me out of work for 8 weeks. During my recovery period, I was stuck on the couch with my trusty DVR. One day I stumbled across a documentary titled, “Siberian Hotel”. This documentary chronicled 2 International Adoption stories, specifically from the Siberia region of Russia. Watching this documentary I felt a very strong pull to adoption. To be honest though, that wasn’t the first time I’d considered adoption. I can very vividly remember a conversation I had with my mom when I was about 19 telling her that I had anticipated having 2 children in my life, 1 biological, 1 adopted. Her response was, “I’ll love any grandbaby you give me, no matter how they get here.”
In February of 2010, I finally decided to visit a new OBGYN for a diagnosis and treatment plan. Don’t get me wrong, thousands of women with PCOS conceive and carry children. Getting pregnant has not, as of yet, been ruled out for A and I. However, we decided that while also considering IF treatments, we would also pursue adoption. In a normal mental state, I have a line as to where I ethically feel I need to stop with IF treatments and I knew that once we were entrenched in it, the fear, devastation, and pure desperation would lead me to any possible treatment that could produce a child for us. So, I knew that I needed to consider all possible options, especially because A and I had discussed our openness to adoption since we began dating.
A & I never ventured into fertility treatments. We decided to take some time to go back on BCP and work on our health (okay, work on my health). I needed to rehab my knee and work on losing weight. I didn’t want to enter into a pregnancy at my current weight knowing that it would put me automatically in a high risk category. We decided to “go with it” for a while. I went back on BCP to treat my PCOS symptoms and hopefully help with weight loss.
Fast forward to December of 2010. It had come time for my yearly appointment with my OBGYN and the discussion of “baby making” had come back up. I decided at this time I needed to take a more serious approach to my weight loss. I changed by BCP to a higher dose (and the one I had been on when I went off BCP) and enrolled with a trainer- Brian, who is awesome by the way. I set a lofty goal of losing 40 lb’s by May 7th. Why May 7th? A and I were leaving for Disneyworld on May 7th, and I wanted to be slightly below my wedding weight to wear all my honeymoon clothes again. May 7th was going to mark our first regular cycle (no fertility meds, but no BCP) and begin our process of trying to make a baby – the sequel.
I began working with my trainer in January, and have to say he was absolutely amazing. Brian not only helped me focus on my weight loss goals, but also on rehabbing my knee. He’s absolutely brilliant. Through this whole time A & I continued to research adoption and adoption laws in AZ. We remained opened to whatever avenue the Lord felt was appropriate to bring us our baby. Little did we know how faithful God would be…