February 11th-February 16th: The Blur

The next 6 days were a total blur.  I tried not to focus to much on the idea of having a baby in our home within the next few weeks.  I’ll be honest, this was about as effective as putting a cup cake in front of a 5 year old and telling them not to touch it.

I anxiously awaited a call from V on Wednesday the 16th.  I knew she would be meeting with this young woman again that afternoon, and I’d know then if we had a chance at being her precious babies parents, or if our journey would end here.  I tried to think of things I could text V and ask her, to spark conversation, hoping she hadn’t forgotten to tell this young woman that we would love to be a part of her adoption plan.  I thought of something, that I’m sure in my mind I justified as relevant, texted V, and anxiously awaited a response.  She responded and told me that when I had a moment to give her a call, she wanted to talk to me about a young woman she knew who was interested in a closed adoption.

I wanted to jump out of my seat right then!  I ran out to my car, and called V right away.  She let me know that this young woman would be happy to meet with A & I, that she was looking for a closed adoption, and to also let me know that there were two other potential families.

Let me stop right here for a moment.  This part broke my heart- and not because there was now “competition”.  It broke my heart because infertility is a tie that binds.  There’s an unspoken bond between women who want nothing more to have a baby but their bodies fail them.  I knew that if our dream were to come true, it would mean that for these two families, their dream would not.

I called A right away and let him know the update.  I also let him know that I would have the opportunity to meet our potential birth mother the next evening at my volunteer group.  My plan was to meet her informally have fun, laugh, be silly and see if she’d like to have lunch with A & I that weekend.  He remained his calm and collected self, and said, “okay- sounds like a plan” (this is A…he’s the cool, calm, and sophisticated one- me, I’m the erratic, emotional, eccentric, OCD, passionate, spontaneous one).

I was so excited and nervous for the following evening, I didn’t know how I was going to keep from jumping out of my skin!

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