So we left off with Sam* starting her induction, and the fun truly beginning. As I had mentioned the hospital was well aware that Sam* had an adoption plan in place for her baby. In our room we had 2-3 nurses at all time. 2 of those 3 nurses were awesome and were so excited for Sam*, her mom, and for A & I. One of those nurses was not. This nurse happened to be the Nursing Director for all of L&D. Let me tell you how much fun this made our day.
Sam’s* doctor had told her that because of how far she had already progressed, she was fine with her getting the epidural as soon as she was admitted to the hospital. Mean Nursing Director decided she was NOT okay with this. She stated that Sam* needed to be in pain first before she could order the epidural. (What do you do at 9am in the morning when the doctor isn’t there?). Mean Nursing Director also ordered A & I out of the room, several times. Then Sam* would request we come back in, so we would, and MND (Mean Nursing Director) would kick us out. This went on and off for multiple occasions.
Sam* started to get really ill from the contractions, she was throwing up and A&I were the only ones in the room with her to hold her hair back for her. MND came in and wanted us out so she could discuss medical concerns with Sam*. I reminded MND that we had provided them with a release that Sam* had signed saying we could have any and all medical information about her and baby. Sam* also said she wanted us to stay (in between throwing up). MND was not happy about this, but I wasn’t leaving. (This was about 9:30 am and I was just done with her). They finally ordered Sam’s* epidural, and had us all leave so she could get it.
Man, what a difference the epidural made! Sam* was back to her calm and happy (non throwing up) self. At this point MND wanted to talk about what things would look like once baby was born. Sam* instructed the nurses (and her mom reiterated) that Sam* and her mom did not want to see or hear the baby. MND said this would be impossible as the baby needed to stay in the room with Sam* for 5-10 minutes minimum for examinations.
Let me back up a bit, prior to this I had a phone conversation with Sam’s* attorney Rita. 1) she wanted to know where we were at and how things were going and 2) I wanted her to know what we were up against with MND. After MND made this statement, I excused myself from the room and called Rita. She basically confirmed what I was thinking and we both agreed that MND was full of BS and trying to force this upon Sam*.
I walked back in the room and tried to discuss options with MND who basically said we had none, she also said that she was unaware if there would be a room for us that night as there was already a “true nesting mother” in their nesting room for the nursery and they didn’t know if they’d have any empty Post Partum rooms.
For those of you who know me, I’m sure you know how well this was sitting with me. For those of you who don’t, let me tell you – I am not one to back down from conflict nor am I afraid to be aggressive. Still, I kept my cool knowing Rita was working this from the angle she needed to.
About 15 minutes later I got a call from Rita, stating she had spoken with the hospital social worker who agreed with us that we could make accommodations for the situation. She said that the SW would be coming up to speak with me in a few minutes and we’d go from there, and to call her back and let her know what was going on.
During this process, V (from my amazing volunteer group) showed up at the hospital to check on Sam* and me. I have to say this was a blessing, as she ultimately helped me maintain my cool. The SW came up to speak with us about 10 minutes later, and I have to say she was AMAZING. This was the first adoption she had done, but if she wouldn’t have told me, I’d have never known! We reviewed the paperwork, and I discussed with her what MND had stated. She said that she would need to confirm this with Sam*, but once she did that she didn’t see why we couldn’t make accommodations.
I stood in the hallway with V as the SW walked in to speak with Sam*, and then watched her walk over to speak with MND. Things were about to take a turn…