The Nursery Room RN’s were amazing. They treated A & I as I imagine they would treat any other parent. As soon as the finished what they needed to do, they swaddled her up, pulled out her bottle and handed both to me. They showed me how much to allow her to drink, and said they’d be back in about an hour to allow us some alone and bonding time.
It’s funny, I had spent the last
6 weeks 27 years dreaming of this moment, and suddenly I was there, I had this beautiful baby girl in my arms, and was feeding her, looking her in the eye, telling her how much I loved her, the emotions that filled me are not ones I can put to words. The love I felt at that moment, was indescribable. There are very few moments in my life where I’ve felt a presence of a higher being next to me, but in that moment I felt the Lord was there, sitting with us, embracing us, sharing that moment, and showing us just what His love meant.
It’s funny looking back at this, it’s the one thing A said he’d do differently. He claims that allowing me to give the first bottle was his big mistake (our baby girl has a strong preference towards her mama, and A claims it’s because I got to feed her first – I say it’s just cause I’m awesome).
After feeding her, the doctor came in and took her from me. I flinched and tried not to freak out (this was the first of many freak out’s). Suddenly a million things were running through my mind- where was she taking her, did Sam* suddenly decide she wanted to see her, was she changing her mind? A, being the cool and calm one we’ve discussed, sensed my fear and asked the doctor if he could get a picture of her with our baby girl. She smiled, and said of course, posed for the photo, and handed her back (I’m so blessed to have him as my husband). On her way out, she turned back to give E a squeeze and whispered to her how lucky she was to have us.
This was huge to me. The doctor wasn’t rude to us per say, but she wasn’t exactly “friendly” and warm. I had felt like she was anti-us (she had suggested another couple as adoptive parents to Sam*) until this moment.
I figured I should probably let A hold our daughter at this point, seeing him with her just melted my heart. Seeing A as a daddy had been a dream of mine since before we were married, and seeing him with our precious baby girl brought me to tears (again).
After about 30 minutes, MND stopped in and was shocked that the nursery room team left us alone with the baby (I know this comes as a surprise to you). After about 50 minutes, Lindsey came back in and said that E needed to go to the nursery for a bath and warming. I asked if I could accompany her, to which she said yes. Putting E back down in the little crib was awful I hated that she wasn’t being held and loved, but hospital regulations wouldn’t allow us to carry the baby outside of the room, all transport had to be in the little crib.
A went to find our room and families while I went with E to the nursery.