So my friend Taylor has a series on her blog titled “Confessions of a Pumping Mom” which I absolutely love. Clearly, this is not something I can “confess” about- however she inspired me to start my own version.
These are my confession’s:
#1: I have to bite my tongue when people tell me how much E looks like her birth mother. Here’s the reality- she does. I know this. It doesn’t mean I like being reminded of it. I look at E and I see my baby girl, keyword there is “my”. When people tell me that it’s like being woken up on the first day of summer at 7am to go get shots. It’s unpleasant. (Now I hear this from my teen mom’s who knew Sam*, so I don’t say anything, because they’re young and I know it’s pure and innocent, but it still irritates me just the same.)
#2: I hate it when people ask me if I’ve talked to E’s “mom” lately. Um yes, thank you I talk to myself every day, sometimes in my car, sometimes in my shower, and sometimes in my head. If you want to know if I’ve spoken to Sam* recently ask me so, but I am her mom so when you ask me if I’ve spoken to her mom, I can assure you without a shadow of doubt that the answer is yes.
#3: Please don’t tell me it’s okay that my daughter is formula fed BECAUSE she’s adopted. Obviously our options were limited in terms of feeding E. A&I looked into inducing lactation, but after reading less than stellar reviews about it, decided it wasn’t for us. I also couldn’t find a lot of information on finding donated breast milk, so our natural reaction was to formula feed our daughter. It drives me banana’s when the following conversation happens:
Someone, “Is she formula fed or breast-fed.”
Me, “Formula fed.”
Someone, “Oh..” (side eye)
Me, “She’s adopted”
Someone, “Oh, well then that’s okay”.
Don’t tell me that formula feeding is okay because my daughter is adopted, when to you it’s (evil, horrible, whatever descriptive word you want to add) and poison to your baby. Just because she’s adopted doesn’t change the descriptive word you have for formula. It’s okay for you to feel that way, obviously I just don’t.