I am not pregnant.
(I feel like when you’re a woman in a specific age range and you’re making an announcement, discussing having children, or have come down with a case of the stomach flu you have to make this disclaimer.)
I am however a planner.
The topic of having additional children has been a popular one in my social circle. It’s also been a popular topic in my house. In both of discussion forums the same question seems to be lingering, “when is the right time to have another baby”?
I have one sister, who is 8 years younger than me. A has 1 brother who is 13 years younger than him. Needless to say the thought of having a few years between our children isn’t just natural, it’s assumed. However how many years to have between children is an entirely different beast.
In the world of adoption, nothing is certain. People can wait for weeks, months, even years to be matched to a set of birth parents and baby. It’s also a relatively common notion that the wait is typically longer for a second child (but not always). In our case, we’re deciding not just when to look for baby number 2, but how. Do we want to pursue Infertility Treatments? Do we want to just plan on adoption and if we get pregnant, so be it? To be honest, we both have a heart for adoption (I just wish we had the endless bank account for it as well).
For a number of reason’s A & I have decided not to pursue a second domestic infant adoption. We reached this conclusion through lots of conversations, research, and ultimately prayer. (However if E were to have a biological sibling that an adoption plan were being made for, or if another situation “fell into our laps” we’d prayfully reconsider this). However, at this time, we feel that International Adoption is our path, and more specifically I have just fallen in love with, and have a heart for Colombia.
So, at this time, we are pursuing International Infant Adoption from the beautiful country of Colombia. We are still gathering information, but are quite pleased with what we’ve learned. The country has a very stable and reliable program that we feel safe adopting through. Additionally, infants in this country can become available for adoption as soon as 3-4 months old, which means we wouldn’t miss out on the entire infant stage (as most children available through international adoption aren’t available until they are between 11-13 months old).
That being said, our road to Colombia is still a long one. E is not old enough yet for us to apply to the country’s child welfare department and register to be a waiting family, and she won’t be for about a year. Additionally once we are accepted as a family (I am trying to be positive in assuming we will be) our wait can be anywhere from 6-30 months waiting for our child (and that’s all pursuant to us being able to save/raise the funds needed for this adoption).
However, once we are matched to a waiting child, we can make travel arrangements right away to go meet and pick up our baby! Our visit to Colombia will be anywhere from 4-9 weeks long, and will require both A & I for at least the first part of the trip. E will be anywhere from 3-5 years old at this time, and we feel that’s a great age gap to have between our children. We do not have a preference to gender or nationality and are confident in knowing that, just like E, the Lord will bring us our baby in His time.
Ironically, I’m at peace with letting the Lord take control of this situation, which for a control addict like myself, is a pretty shocking revelation. I guess as of late, I’ve come to the decision that while I’d love to have as many children as the Lord choses to bless us with, we’re already so incredibly blessed, and if it’s His will for E to be our only child, we are still abundantly blessed (let’s be honest, she is like the most amazing baby girl on the planet).
So, I invite you to buckle up and join us for this next exciting adventure. It’s going to be a long one folks, and at times it may not feel like we’re making much progress. But, if you’re willing to stick with us, I know it will be an incredible journey, and if we’re lucky, it will conclude with 4-9 weeks in a beautiful country as a family of FOUR…